


Amarulance

by StrawhatsAndDelibirds



Series: Modern verse [13]
Category: One Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21923524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawhatsAndDelibirds/pseuds/StrawhatsAndDelibirds
Summary: You can't let your friend know you've done this, because he's a twenty something baba
Relationships: Usopp & Vinsmoke Sanji
Series: Modern verse [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571110
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Amarulance

There was an unspoken rule that their friend group had. A rule that had been put in place by someone who had a stick up their ass, but only circumstantially. Nonetheless, most of them followed it. 

But there were times when they were weak. They were human after all. Mistakes happened. Some of those mistakes were tasty, and others punished them before Sanji could even get to them. But Usopp could only avoid being tempted by the sweetest of forbidden fruit for so long. 

And by sweetest of forbidden fruit, he of course meant fast food. It was neither sweet, nor fruit, but it was undeniably forbidden. The fact that it was food was even up for debate. But the fact remained that it was good and also cheap as hell. And as a young business owner, cheap as hell was exactly what he needed. 

Under normal circumstances, sneaking fast food was fairly easy. There were lots of people in the building that Sanji didn’t claim responsibility when it came to food or teaching basic meal prep. The fast food smells could easily be passed off as someone else’s. Sanji didn’t have to see it. And if he didn’t know, it couldn’t hurt him. 

These were not normal circumstances that Usopp was under right now. Sanji lived right down the hall, and he was going to be here soon. Mistakes were made, and Usopp had informed him that he had some dill that was ready for harvest, and Sanji was going to come over and make some really bitching soup. 

Still on his counter, Usopp could see a bag of WcDonalds. There were a number of options laid out before him. He could put the bag in the garbage, and change the bag. That would get rid of it, but Sanji would be suspicious of a bag that was switched out after one thing because trash day was yesterday.

Or he could go with the second, and panic shove things under his bed. Sanji wasn’t going to be in his room. It was still in the house, but smoking had to have damaged Sanji’s sense of smell enough that he couldn’t sniff it out like a bloodhound. Especially since he wasn’t actively looking for it, because he had no reason to suspect him. 

It had to be the second. If he saw the garbage bag in his house because there’s no time to get rid of it he’d be onto him. Time was precious and it was running out. Frantically, he ran and grabbed every trace of fast food and shoved it into his room and under his bed like he was six and trying to clean his room before company that didn’t give a shit about his room came over.

But what if Sanji could feel the trace amounts of grease on his counter and tell. Oh god he was going to be so mad about this. Running out of his room, he lunged for under his sink. He had wet wipes. He’d wipe down his counter really quick and Sanji would never know. 

He had only started to wipe down his counter, when there was a knock on his door. Fuck it was Sanji and he knew. He finished wiping down where the bag was, and hoped that it’d be enough. He tossed the rag into the trash and ran to the door. 

“Hey Sanji, come on in.” Flawless. He wouldn’t be suspicious of anything. 

“Why are you so sweaty?” Sanji asked, walking in and setting the bag of ingredients on the counter. Oh god he knew. 

“Just was in a hurry to get everything nice and ready for you, haha.” And NOT hiding fast food bags. 

“It’s nice to work in a clean kitchen, but you don’t have to worry about it being spotless for me. It’s not like I have to worry about anything gross in your house.” 

“Thanks, yeah my house is really clean all the time.” He knew. He knew everything. 

“I’ll give a little more warning next time. I forget that I’m not the only guy around here that likes to tidy up before I have guests.” Sanji poked around at the dill growing on the counter. The counter right by where the bag was. “This is some really nice dill. I never get to cook with ingredients this fresh.”

Usopp knew in his heart that this was all just a clever ruse. He greatly underestimated the skill of Sanji’s nose, even with all the years of smoking. As his friend for all these years he should’ve known that Sanji was cut from a different cloth. His senses were sharpened, even despite the effects of smoking on him. The smoking was only to keep him from being too powerful and overwhelmed by the magnitude of his senses. Usopp was a fool. 

“Okay! You caught me! I had fast food a few nights ago!” It was better to just say it. Sanji already knew and he couldn’t torture him with it if he just said it. 

Sanji stopped and stared at him. The looks said confusion more than anything, as he processed what was just said. Usopp was not a fool earlier, but he certainly was now. He could’ve gotten away with this. Sanji didn’t know there was any fast food in here ever. He never had to, but Usopp went and blew this whole thing for himself. 

“You had fast food? And you had it in your house?” Usopp was cut deep by the disappointment in his voice. 

“It’s just so cheap and easy.” Sanji huffed, and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “Wait where are you going?” 

“I have to get more shit. If you have to turn to fast food then I’m not doing my job as your friend.” 

“Sanji it’s fine.”

“No. No friend of mine should have to eat fast food. I’ll be back in like ten minutes. I’ll make you more than just soup.” 

Even if it was completely willingly, it still sucked to force Sanji to cook for him like this. He was a grown man and his friend shouldn’t feel like he needs to cook for him. But there was no stopping him now. Nothing Usopp could say could stop him unless he wanted to hurt his feelings. 

He would find a way to pay Sanji back for this. And he wasn’t going to accept no as an answer from him. 


End file.
